The phrase “I’m here if you need” is typically followed by crickets.
Sure, it’s said with the most honest, sincere intentions but it typically falls short of any substance.
“Let’s grab coffee together; I’m free on Monday” on the other hand is a direct invitation.
While many people have a group of friends to bounce ideas off, vent to or just share joys and sorrows with, there’s a large number of humans that simply do not.
They prefer a one on one conversation. Better yet, a chat over some sort of simple activity.
Inviting your friends out to a cafe is a perfect opportunity for a quiet introvert to connect. It’s easy for many of us to be overwhelmed in the social settings but when there’s an activity to ease the mind, conversation flows much easier.
The deafening roar of a party might be the ultimate way for some people to chat but it can shut others out completely. It doesn’t mean one is more right than the other. More, we are beginning to recognise the difference in how we each communicate.
Most people want to feel heard, introverts included.
The natural pauses in conversation can be super difficult for some of us. Being involved in something throughout the chinwag helps fill those gaps. It’s also a way for someone to get the time to process the topics better. Trying to keep up with dialogue poses its own problems & an activity helps with that.
Ordering a coffee, the waitress bringing it to your table and discussing how you drink it all helps someone talk. In some ways it’s the ice breaker that helps ensure conversation doesn’t freeze over again.
So next time you see a friend make a post online or say something that grabs your attention, take notice. Instead of saying “here if you need,” try inviting them out for coffee.
Coffee is renowned for helping the flow of conversations. But are there other ways you’ve found that work too? Let us know in the comments below.